When people think of vanlife, they often imagine a life of adventure—traveling the country, exploring new places, and having a blast. And sure, vanlife does offer a sense of freedom. I can wake up in a new location, move at my own pace, and avoid the hustle and bustle that a traditional lifestyle can bring. But for me, there’s a deeper reason why I’ve chosen this path.
Recently, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder with bipolar depression. It’s something I’ve been dealing with for the better part of my life, even though I didn’t have a name for it until now. Getting that diagnosis was like having a light switch flipped on. It gave me the clarity I needed to understand the battle I’ve been fighting.
But knowing what I’m up against was just the first step. Figuring out how to manage this disorder was next, and that’s where vanlife comes in. You see, vanlife, for me isn’t just about freedom from the grind—it’s about freedom from the overwhelming pressures of society. When I’m out here, in the quiet, I have space. Space to think, space to breathe, and space to manage my symptoms without feeling the social weight that comes with being in crowded environments.
Schizoaffective disorder, for those unfamiliar, is a combination of schizophrenia and mood disorder symptoms. It brings with it the challenges of hearing voices, along with mood swings that can make each day feel unpredictable. When I’m surrounded by too much noise, or when social expectations are heavy, those symptoms get worse. The voices get louder, the anxiety builds up, and it feels like the world is closing in.
That’s why I need solitude. It’s not about isolating myself—it’s about protecting my peace. Out here, away from the constant pressure of daily interactions, I find the stillness I need to keep things in check. Solitude gives me the room to listen to my mind without feeling overwhelmed by the world around me.
Now, some might think that this lifestyle sounds lonely or even extreme. But for me, it’s necessary. And as I’ve gotten closer to God, I’ve realized that solitude isn’t just about being alone—it’s about setting boundaries. I’ve been studying the Bible a lot lately, especially the Book of Matthew, and it’s helping me find strength. Through scripture, I’m learning that boundaries are important for my mental health. Setting those boundaries allows me to protect my energy, and it gives me the ability to recharge without feeling guilty.
Faith is guiding me through this journey. Each day, I lean on God to help me stay grounded and manage this disorder. I’ve come to understand that it’s okay to take a step back when I need to, and that’s a lesson I’m constantly relearning as I live this life on the road.
Vanlife and faith go hand-in-hand for me. Vanlife gives me the quiet and solitude I need to manage my mental health, and faith gives me the guidance and strength to set the personal boundaries that keep me grounded. Together, they’ve helped me heal in ways I never thought possible.
I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only one out there struggling. Whether you’re dealing with mental health challenges or just trying to figure out your place in the world, know that there’s no one right way to live. It’s about finding what brings you peace and holding onto it. For me, that’s vanlife and my relationship with God. It’s how I’m learning to navigate the world, day by day, on my terms.
For more on how I’m learning to embrace stillness in a fast-paced world, check out my recent blog post: Why Resting is Not Quitting: Embracing Stillness in the Hustle Culture.
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